Skystrike

Trigger warnings for this character: death, PTSD, depression, implied suicidal ideation

Skystrike is a shorthaired, dark blue molly with sky blue eyes to match. She has long limbs, large paws, and a thin, powerful build. She has two long, deep, and noticeable scars running down the right side of her face and into the left, a large one running down one side, and several smaller ones, most of which are covered by her fur.

Personality
Skystrike is a tough, loyal cat with her own insecurities hidden from others.

She is intelligent, and rather wise. She is usually very serious, but loves spending time with family, and is more than willing to run around and have fun with a close friend or family member.

She will be friendly to others if they are nice to her, but she won't take anyone's crap.

Skystrike will attempt to reason with another cat before using her claws if possible, like on a border patrol, but she won't hesitate to fight for her clanmates.

She prioritizes her family, and doesn't dwell on those lost. Not because she doesn't care, but she just tries not to let it get her down and stay level-headed, and tries to remain strong even in the darkest of times and continue with duties. She knows that life goes on, and doesn't give herself enough time to grieve.

Skystrike, when anxious, tends to hold her feelings back from others, and let her fears bubble up inside her. If a cat catches her during a period where she is worried about something, she is likely to snap at them. She might hiss at them, or say something she doesn't mean.

Normally, she is very serious and strict but kind, and can have a good sense of humor if you're close to her. She enjoys the company of others, but also sometimes just needs time to herself, She is hard-working, dedicated, courageous, and fierce, and always tried to keep a level head. She also has a very strong maternal instinct, and loves kittens, though she is asexual and probably wouldn't have any of her own.

After the restart moving the forum to Discord, the playful and loving side of Skystrike is difficult to reach. She is still extremely maternal, which shows in her relationships with apprentices, especially those that need a little extra support. She has a hard time letting cats in, and harbors a lot of anxiety and doubt about herself and her abilities (which she already had, but it has gotten worse).

Skystrike is still loyal to her clan, although it may be because she knows nothing else. She doesn't know where else she would go, and at this point the routine schedule is one of the things holding her together and giving her life purpose. Sometimes she feels like she doesn't exist, or like she's only a spectator in her world. Sometimes she feels like she can't breathe, overwhelmed by her own demons and the expectations from her clanmates.

She feels grief heavily, but still tries to block it out and keep going.

She is in a really dark place, mentally and emotionally. Most of her friends and family are dead, so she doesn't really have anyone to keep her out of her own mind (aside from one cat who she sort of grew up with, but whom she rarely talked to until recently). She is struggling with PTSD and depression, though she is also trying her best to suppress it and move on, since she doesn't think she should be feeling the way she does. No one else seems to be, after all, and she thought that warriors were always strong and kept going after initial hardships were over. Her parents never really taught her about mental health, which is something she desperately needed.

She knows her purpose in the clan, and she works hard to contribute positively to it, but lately she has questioned that. She's gone through depressive moods before, but normally she could at least try to ignore it and move on. Lately, though, it's harder and harder. It's made worse by her new role as deputy, which she fears she may not be able to keep. Sometimes her PTSD gets in the way of important duties, though it's a more recent thing that has been affecting her life.

She stays on top of all of her duties as deputy still, and tries to keep herself busy and distracted from her thoughts. Her depression takes a hit on her mood, and she frequently finds herself in a dark place, and sometimes the thoughts that cross her mind scare her. (She would never follow through with them, right?) She hasn't learned it yet, but the PTSD affects her ability to fight, despite, in the past, being one of the clan's most skilled hunters and fighters.

Her known triggers involve foxes or very strong blood scent, especially if it's stale. Cats yowling, even playfully, is another one, as are certain fighting moves when used against her.

History
Most of her history is written in a separate wiki article, https://treeclan-fieldclan-lakeclan-caveclan-rp.fandom.com/wiki/Skystrike

To summarize: She was born to Bluewhisker and Shadowstreak (now completely remade and named Nightshade, but I don't have a link to her new version yet) of Fieldclan, along with Moonfur, Badgerfang, and Emberkit (stillborn).

At a few moons old, she and her siblings snuck out and got separated, but luckily managed to find their ways back home moons later, having found someone else to protect them while they were small. Moonkit returned a couple moons before Skypaw became a warrior, and Badgerkit returned several moons after.

She earned the name Skystrike for the grace, speed, and skill she demonstrated in both hunting and fighting. She was proud, her parents were proud, and she got to celebrate it with her sister. She couldn't be more excited or happy than she was with them.

Skystrike lost both of her parents during a dog or fox raid on Fieldclan camp and suppressed her grief as best she could, taking up more warrior duties and spending more time with friends to cope.

When Moonfur had kittens, Skystrike became like a second mother to her niece and nephew Sagekit and Shadowkit (Shadowclaw). She loved them as her own, and even became closer with both her siblings-- Moonfur because she showed maturity Skystrike didn't expect, and Badgerfang because he would often help out as well.

Once again, she was crushed by the early death of Sagekit, but Shadowkit helped her pull through. He needed comforting more than she did, and helping calm him had the added benefit of calming Skystrike. So, they pulled through.

At some point, cats began falling to a deadly illness and Skystrike was one of several cats to journey to find a cure after Swipeclaw created false omens sending them, specifically. She travelled to Seaclan and discovered old Darkclan warriors. Troutstar gave the travelers the cure they needed. Skystrike and the others in the patrol returned to find her clan split and fighting with the enemy. She felt lost and confused, overwhelmed by the information and unsure of what to do. She handed out the cure to the cats who needed it, and was seen as a hero. She was glad not to be on the wrong side of history, but a part of her always wondered where she would have been had she been in the clan, and if she could have prevented any fighting if she had been there at the start.

That was the first war she lived through, fighting against her own classmates and the guild. She knew the guild and Swipestar's loyalists were in the wrong, but without knowing the full story, she still felt guilty fighting the cats she grew up around. After, Fieldclan disbanded for a while. Skystrike stuck with Moonfur and perhaps Badgerfang while it was happening, and she just felt very lost and very helpless.

Looking back at that time, Skystrike wished she could have done more.

She lost Moonfur later when her sister slipped when fighting a fox that got too near camp. She was heartbroken once again, but Shadowclaw was an independent warrior who no longer sought comfort from her, nor offered it.

Her sister's death led to her interacting with a tom she never did before. Lightningheart became her best friend, and somehow he became the only cat Skystrike trusted her heart with. He helped her move on, and they became closer than Skystrike had ever been with another cat.

Years later, they only grew closer as they grew and matured and experienced more and more clan struggles.

Skystrike, through her life, survived when prey and water were poisoned, through war and wildfires, heatwaves, famine, illness and plagues, cold and rain, and much more. Through many of these, Lightningheart was there by her side to help her through, while she, in turn, helped him with whatever he was struggling with.

When winter hit one year at full force, Skystrike had to take over as deputy while Burrfrost fell ill, and learned that she fell naturally into the role, and once again, it helped to keep her mind off of things that plagued it.

Cats dropped like flies each day, leaders from all the clans losing all nine in some cases in just a few weeks. Herself and her clanmates all felt the effects of starvation, and many turned against each other while Skystrike struggled to keep the peace.

Several times, her clan found themselves in bloody battles with the other clans as well as predators.

Skystrike received two parallel scratch marks down her face from a desperate fox fight. She watched her nephew Shadowclaw get torn apart by the same beast while Skystrike watched on in frozen horror.

Lightningheart, her best friend and her partner, died as well.

Skystrike was left alone, with mental images she would never be able to shake and damage that could never be undone.

When Volestar and Burrfrost died, the clan chose her to lead them, but how could she lead a clan when she could no longer trust herself to act in a time of crisis? (She froze when those she loved needed her most, and they and clanmates dies because of her own inaction.)

She became deputy instead. Much to the clan's relief, the sun began to shine not long after, melting the relentless snow.

Always a cat who hid her emotions, she continued with life as a ghost within her clan. She sent out patrols and planned border measures almost mechanically. The words that spilled from her mouth never seemed to reach her ears, and it never felt like she was the one in her body. It felt like she was the spectator for someone else's life.

She learned what a panic attack was and that it wasn't something she could suppress. She learned that sleep was a blessing she always took for granted. She learned that she wasn't as strong or as brave as she always believed herself to be.

Soon, maybe the clan will notice that too. Maybe they'll demote her and she'll just be an ordinary warrior again. Except, with no one to rely on and only her brother that she still knows well, would anyone notice whether she was there or not? Would anyone care?

...How would she possibly survive without the deputy job to keep her busy?

Trivia

 * Skystrike was formerly played by Frostfeather1, but is now played by Shadow of the Raven's Wing
 * She and Badgerfang are genetically accurate, but their siblings are not.
 * Skystrike is asexual, which is why she and Lightningheart never had kits or took the label of "mates." Instead, they were just partners and best friends, because that's what she was comfortable with. -If the winter before the restart didn't end in Lightningheart's death, Skystrike might have considered having kittens, as she is very maternal despite her sexuality. One of the biggest reasons it was never a possibility before was just because she was afraid of being confined to camp.   If she did have kittens, Lightningheart would have been the "den dad" who stayed and watched the kittens, while Skystrike continued hunting and patrolling as normal. She would then come back and try to be the best mother to her kittens that she possibly could be. It would have been really cute, and really really sweet to have a family like that.